Bella's Essay #2- What is Femdom?

A Femdom is defined as a woman who takes the role of the dominant participant in B&D activities. She can go by many titles, Domme, FemDomme, Domina, Dominatrix or Mistress. For most men, this is the woman they turn to when they want to give up control. In order to fully understand the reasoning behind Femdom’s popularity, one has to look at the various types of femdoms and who most often seeks them out.
Femdom, at the core, revolves around a male or female submissive under the guidance and control of a stronger, more capable woman. While for many men, this is purely a sexual exchange of power, for some, it encompasses much more than merely sensual pursuits. There are many reasons why a man might turn to a more dominant woman, from insecurity to comfort.
The point is, there are no invalid reasons for making the decision to turn yourself over to a competent, decisive woman who knows what you need and how to give it to you best. The question becomes more about what type of femdom you’re seeking and what you’d like to get out of the experience.

Types of Femdoms
There are about as many types of femdoms as there are females in the world, but there are generally a few well known archetypes.

The Sensual Femdom
The sensual femdom is one who rules with a silken glove as opposed to an iron fist. She uses seduction, soft words, and gentle persuasion to get what she wants, but make no mistake about it, she can be firm if need be. Some of her favorite tools involve orgasm control, tease and denial, body worship, forced chastity, and feminization, among others. If there is any B&D involved at all, it is more likely some light rope bondage with some light humiliation thrown in for good measure. She’s the secretary who runs all your affairs and knows your every move…the one you’d be lost without. She’s the manager who bends you to her will with a sensual purr and a high cut skirt, because she knows how to use her body and brains to their fullest potential. She effects a change in your demeanor just by knowing how to use her sensual side to get what she wants. And the best part? She completely has you twisted around her finger whether you realize it or not.

The Dominatrix
The Dominatrix is a woman who knows her way around both a man’s head and a man’s body, and is more than capable of using pain to get her point across. This is the woman that most people conjure in their minds when they think of femdom. She’s a vixen in black leather, a cruel smile, with a flogger in one hand and a strap on in the other. She’s not afraid to use both her brains and beauty to get what she wants, nor is she likely to take no for an answer to any question. She is an expert at inflicting such physical torment as to leave you on your knees (where you belong when in her presence) and begging for more. She’s the woman you come to at the end of a long day, falling to your knees at her feet in the darkness of her dungeon, begging to worship her in whatever way she allows, always grateful for any attention she may give you…in whatever form it comes in. Ball busting, spitting, extreme face sitting, and harsher strap-on play, along with slapping, whipping, caning, wax play, and many other forms of physical and mental discomfort are in her playbook, and she’s more than willing to pull out whatever she needs to bring you to your knees.

The Humiliatrix
The Humiliatrix is a more specialized form of femdom. She plays upon your insecurities, making you feel like the fumbling little boy you were when you first saw the sexy girl in school. You wanted her attention, craved it, and endured such humiliation at her hands, all for the opportunity to get closer to her. You were thankful for any attention she would give you, even if it were her derisive laugh and unending scorn. This is the woman who makes you feel young again, who plays upon your insecurities, drawing out your deepest fears and using them against you in the most exquisite torture imaginable. Her erotic humiliation can take many forms, from focusing on your tiny penis and it’s inadequacy to fulfill her needs, to making you take a daytrip to buy panties when she’s already talked to the cashier and they’re expecting you.

All of these types of femdoms are common within the femdom community, but they are barely just the tip of the iceberg. Femdom takes so many shapes and flavors that it is impossible to categorize every femdom’s style, but suffice it to say, there are as many femdoms out there as there are women. Each one has their own flavor, their own style, and most will mix and match techniques however they see fit in order to bring you to your knees before them. And make no mistake about it, you will be on your knees, worshipping them, tributing to them, and dreaming of them when you’re away. It’s all a matter of finding the right femdom to give yourself to…and who will have you.

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